Monday, April 15, 2013

Rohan Goes to Thailand! (part 1)

This one, was on its way but it took time, basically cause i got lazy and secondly i got too busy! :)  that's what happens to you when you visit 'Thailand', the best in luxury,pampering and wild fun a man can get! yeah....i said it right, Thailand is a strictly Men Only Zone....so my dear honeymooners, who plan to go Thai.....trust me only the guy is getting a good deal here and you, lady are getting hands on shopping experience which can be experienced anywhere(Pusss)!! OK, i will go easy on the ladies for the sake of Thailand tourism......

See in Thailand, there are a a lot places which are worth going especially on your first trip out of India. oh yeah!! it was my first trip out of the Bharatbhoomi and directly to Suvarnabhumi(Suvarnabhumi airport,Bangkok,Thailand)) and the excitement seemed to start from the bottom of my spine going up while doing a samba and dropping ice along! Though what was to be a Wolf Pack out for fun trip turned out to be a 2 guys exploring a new world but nevertheless it was worth it! As we landed on the Airport,the Thailand tourism's welcome board read 'Cum to see, Thailand's offspring!'....that's exactly how it was written and how i read it......much confusing ,with lot double meaning but much promise..;) :)

Magnificently built Airport, with those moving escalators where in you just stand and move ahead or turn ya back and pretend to be better moon-walkers than Michael Jackson! lot of people would think i am crazy to be in love with them but yo people did you not read.....this was my first trip out!! I was as happy as the President of the Indian Olympics Association, when he heard the amounts sanctioned by the Gov for the  CWG and CYG games.....anyways so here i was,enjoying the moving slides, when an ugly looking lady with a equally frightening smile greeted us and told us to get our visas at the check-in counter....In India, the exchange rate for a baht was 1.70 rps but well, when you are in Thailand do it like the exchange board shows you....so we shelled round about 3 rps for a baht.....(Mental note: listen to your girlfriend who told you to swallow your Indian pride and carry dollars instead of Indian rupees).....anyways we were here and we were admitted in, as the gates opened to..... Bangkok!!

The ugly looking lady crept from behind and started to speak to us in a language which can only be defined as English, as there were a few words like... 'welcome,am Aghaatha ,your, so,money' and for some reason "many many" before the money part.....from the wisdom of my friend, Harshal Gandhi,( who i can say can understand Namibian or old world Pashtuni too if it gets the work done) informed me that the lady was our tour guide and co coordinator (yup and i thot it wud be a lady with long hair,fair skin and looks as oriental as hakka noodles)........but on further discussion it was revealed that she was there to merely pick us up and take us to our designated hotels...hurrah for that and gulp for the scare!

Since airport ,we were accompanied by Haryanvi and Punjabi da mundas de Jaats of the de Chandigadhs!! i mean these guys were phenomenal, they were coming for the 4th time,they were married but yet filthy rich(a rare feat),they all had girlfriends there(told ya ..Mans zone) and they knew the roads better than our driver.....and so happy to be back that they were happily chatting with the driver in Punjabi and all he was saying was wat? wat u say wat u say!......

We checked in into the hotel Ibis,Pattaya, a fantastic studio apartment ,just 5 mins away from the best sights and sounds of the city of Pattaya!


The first day, evening we went out for the famous Alcazar show.A larger than life music,dance and special effects extravaganza performed by eunuchs and lady boys! The way the sequences and set was choreographed was wonderful and every performance got a loud clap from the audience. I had to be alone at the show as certain Gujju friend who was to accompany me everywhere was still in the shock that it takes 3 rps for a baht and that veg food was a rarity in Pattaya but no regrets.Its amazing how the transsexuals in Thailand are not seen as a taboo but respected and promoted as Artists. A lot to learn from here.....i mean why support gays when we can help those who are really a proud and hardworking clan...anyways that's for another day......the evening ended with a small beer n street dance party at a bar called 'Yuth bar and family restaurant', where our hosts Kim,Yok,Kung and the bar tenders provided us with some nice information about in and around Pattaya



 Next we went out to the Coral island for some scuba diving and getting some tan on.....everywhere u go people will greet you with a warm 'Sawadee Khap/Krap,make you feel at home and let know the price for sitting in their chairs on the beach.....i mean come on 30 bahts for an hour in a sun chair?? but the scuba diving and aquatic sightseeing went wonderful............ Now comes the main part of the Pattaya, which is a strictly, definitely and certainly, a totally Man's Zone,THE WALKING STREET!!



I mean, come on.... this place has got everything that a man dreams, thinks or  had once achieved before civil progression began.....you have Go Go bars, you have ladies calling at you,you have women in extremely provocative clothes offering beer for only 50 bahts(100 rps),you have food stalls where u can pick your meat,fish and rarely vegetables,you have the best delicacies from ocean for cheaper than Cad-bury silk in India! Massage parlors , Spas,Harem houses to up-class Moulin Rouge kinda bars,Roadside bartenders making some neat cocktails, imported alcohol cheaper even when compared to even Goa,People from all over the India, right from 'Apli poora' to 'da jaat da Punajabis da boayz' to 'Jignesbhai,Sureasbhai n Kamlesbhai' to ShujithaVishvanathnaGaneshaAslamStalinGopallaBaluraoRoberthan and the world too....Brits, Aussies,Yanks,Dutch,African,Syria,Israel,Emirates......dunno about Pakis did not care to seek them! ;P

Apart from drinking at various bars,we landed up at a decent massage salon,managed by 50 year old Aunty with warmest smile,she took an immediate liking for my friend Harshal and offered us a discount on the Feet massage.....Note: no Indian gives away a discount!! Not only did we have the most relaxing feet n leg massage but with the discount structure rising we decided to go for a 3 day complete body medical massage treatment......and it was worth it....they can make Fibromyalgia knots or Protein knots melt away by their oils and balms.......and some really sweet and friendly women.....but alas all good things come to an end and on the 4th day we really had good byes with a heavy heart and promise to come again.
  
Walking street is famous for its SEX tourism and at every nook or turn a guy or gal or a lady boy will greet you by banging his hands together and saying 'boom boom', a loud and vulgar expression for sex......after a while it gets irritating and its nauseating to see the way we humans sell each other for money and good time....anyways that's there and done with.... 

 
 



Thailand has another great resource after the imperial government,its called the 7-11's,they  are practically all over Thailand......in every lane,on every street and even in malls or bullet trains!! you get everything over here.....you name it and its there.....in fact you can make your own food in the store too. its cheap, its nice and you can have a lot of really small price.....its a heaven for those who have no idea what they are ordering on the streets. God bless 7-11 and their cook your own food stalls!!
foodie in Thailand

Chicken mushroom rice with egg!
Thai Food-yeah apart from booze,sex and entertainment, is the most delicious thing Thailand offspring's...... i mean offers!!whoops!! The chances of survival of a vegetarian  in Thailand is that of a Christian missionary in Kandahar or of a Gambler in Las Vegas.So be sure to learn to be non vegetarian before you come here.....of course there is eggs and fruits which are lifesavers at times! 
Hodjo's Cart Food
yeah!!! Ducks!

Phad Thai
pork soup!
 Phad Thai,Squid on roast,Duck soup,chicken on Stick and a whole array of Cantonese cuisine.i was in Heaven!!


COMING SOON PART II!!