A better man

In life, i fought for wrong people,i befriended selfish individuals,i followed false gods,i fell in love with false dreams, was put down by my own ego and broken by my own anger, questioned by cowards and answered by the foolish,respected by the enemy, protected by values.....principles stood strong,faith kept me going going,love found me at last,i stood up once again, armed with hope and forgiveness........i became a better man.....

To dear Sania,

Personally I don’t care if you are getting married or playing the Zambian open tennis tournament cause i am not a big tennis fan. I have my issues with Pakistan but that’s ok we all silly Indians not as famous as SRK have it. Anyways the reason I am writing this letter is cause my friends just couldn’t take my silence over the issue and wanted another opinion (as if the news channels weren’t giving out any), answer, statement or even a caption over the whole bloody blown issue. Well so here I am going to blow it more by writing my letter to you.

Wow! You are getting married! Congrats! Firstly even though we are from the same country and I am supposed to be from bride’s side and all but don’t expect any brotherly concern. The reason being some weird Google searches done in college a long time ago….anyways! That’s there and done with!

As the D day approached you might feel the heat of things…not from saffron parties or self declared patriots but the summer heat, silly! Yes so drink lot of water… I know you don’t do ads for mineral water guys but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to drink it at all!

A Pakistani husband eh! Good I mean it’s hard to find good guys in India with Pakistan busy recruiting the fresh Indian Muslim youth for some social and religious causes. These youths are too busy to be concerned with petty things as marriage…..I mean have you seen the work Pak gives them? It’s suicidal! Seriously and very poor packages, odd job hours, odd jobs too; no permanent cabins or even an identification card! So Shohaib is any day a good choice! My regards!

At the wedding day, be sure to wear proper traditional gear..…I know the new adidas slip-ons are comfy but we still have to stick to sandals or chappals on any traditional wear! So stop bickering! Cows and women don’t bicker in your in laws country or any country beyond it!

Be sure to call all the guests, and take care of security…..if Mr.dawood comes from Dubai, the families of 93/99/2000/01/etc/etc blast victims might just turn up and protest. They are still a bit emotional and hateful regarding the work of god that dawood does and Pak sponsors! Call even the Hindu right wing leaders or else they might call it an insult to India and protest in front of your house with black flags. Call up the Red brigade, I don’t know why but its better to have them at our side..…its something to do with Singur or Sindur, I cant remember, Call up the republicans or else they will fight for their right to a reservation at your wedding. Last time Bigg Boss didn’t allow them in his house and his house had few windows missing the next day.

Call Mulayam Singh yadav and all the anti-women’s reservation team, they still think women in Parliament and tennis courts are a myth! They have lot of men with guns so be polite…..

Call up Rahul Gandhi, if he refuses tell him you will serve the food in your dalit servants outhouse, he will love that! Please don’t mind the press he brings along they might take your pics too…see that’s good planning! Rest you decide and call…..do you have any friends in the tennis world? Check, see and call

Finally be good in Pakistan, I bet the day you reach, you will value being an Indian more. Now you are a big girl, so no more little skirts and the sleeveless tees for you. You have to take care of the repute of both the countries…I mean families…that too sitting in Dubai. Concentrate on you marriage & married life, be sure to service his balls…… I mean tennis balls and cricket balls look good when they are clean and shiny! ok this is sounding weird…….

Will you play for India or Pakistan? Why are they troubling you so much with this question? India & Pakistan are at the same position in global tennis to make any big difference! Hell with critics….I am more concerned how will you ever play in the big black all covering dress? Sigh! Goodbye Sania!

Jai Hind! Jai Pakistan! Jai Dubai!

Confused Indians and some people….

A year ago, when Mr. Danny Boyle came up with Slumdog Millionaire. I saw an extreme souped up tempo around, fervor of sorts with everyone lip-syncing each other calling out ‘JAI HO!’

WTF…. I said and looked as if we were going under a revolution and it was…the British were claiming what they left behind, broken & confused, the modern day, India. The Indian still reeling under poverty, communal disharmony, lack of citizen’s will, etc was being reeled by Sir Daniel Boyle, thanks to whom Immigrant Indians & other citizens of the world would have never known the real face of urban India.

Not only did the British reclaimed their lost colony but by selling its poverty they gave it Oscar too. Jai Ho Jolly’ old chaps! (No offence to the truly respectable A.R.Rehman ) And were we Indians happy for it! By god we were wearing Jai ho t-Shirts, we were waiting in lines to see our true face, we were playing games on mobiles, we making Slumdog groups in our colleges, paper ads and what not.

We cheered for the kids who acted so naturally…oh wait they were naturals…Pingbash!

Why is that we are so attracted to the white skin effect that we are able to digest their every antic so readily?

‘slavery hasn’t stopped in the world, its just that we are now paying them to work for us’ who said is an entirely different matter as it gets communal colors but he said when he was asked about his country recruiting people from Asian & African countries, why cant we get a hint?

Ok each one himself but what really grinds my gears is that how can we be so mean to our own cinema which also shows the same ground facts, realities and truths of the society or is it just because it has no outsider value ? no danny boyle? No fancy camera work?

I really felt bad when the national awards winner child artist Sharad Goenkar was so conveniently ignored by the Hindi and English channels. If only had Sharad won an oscar, their cameras would have followed him even to his toilet and said ‘dekhia kaise karte hai sharad potti’ ‘tingya fame ne kar diya saafaya’ and what not shit! (Intended!)

Politics is not far away too….right from CM’s to even the not so honorary President, getting their snaps clicked with Danny Boyle’s or our slumdogs. I felt proud of CM’ s from southern states who refused to felicitate and promote a British film irrespective of its casting and crew. These people are truly proud Indians.

It took a Raj Thackeray to declare a home and monetary help to Sharad and his family to appreciate his achievement. The slap on the face of the government which says it stands by the ‘AAM ADMI’. .Pity on the people who call themselves Indians and forget to celebrate its achievers just because they are not from their regional language. Before writing down my anguish I sent a contribution to Sharad and latter of appreciation. Least I could do…….

The Last Step

Walking on this long never ending path, came a turn where flowers seem to have their true bloom, where the air seem to be as fresh as the first breath after first cry, where innocence seem to return,where fret seemed no bother yet memories run once again in the mind, memories of sweets thoughts, memories of stolen moments, friendships and loves, tears of laughter, shouts of victories and cheers unknown, the shy eyes when they first saw thru me to my soul, the first touch….

I knew a step further and I will be wiping all these memories forever. God on that threshold wanted me to know that I have lived a good life, that I have lived. He signed me off all regret, sorrow or discontent I had to start a new life, to walk a new path….

But then I looked back, I thought yes I have lived a good life but then with all this gone where do I exist now. If I was never meant to last then why live? All these people all these memories will be wiped out and sucked into the endless vortex of all consuming time.

God said son you are wasting time, don’t you want to go on a new journey? A new start to live again?

I said if I can start can I start it with her again?

SERIAL SASURAL!

Well it was my good old friend Sheetal Shah's wedding. i am always thrilled to be at a Gujju wedding cause you get to wear your brightest and loudest and yet look sober and most importantly you get to eat a variety of food stuffs !. i had also gone as my friends was tying the knot mind you!

I was aquainted with sheetals cousins 1,2,3 (names with held for my own saftey) and friends Ajeet,Preeti,Shubham and Mitra and soon we were having a talk on the round table while having food. which went like,

cousin 1: you seen didi's saas? she reminds me of the Hamsa ben from khichadi.

cousin: whatever ya,but sheetal and paras look just like tulsi and mihir.

(mind you cousin 1 n 2 are typical gujju females who have taken pains to finish graduation and are waiting for their rightful right of a grand marriage)

ajeet: (sheetals childhood pal) they look more like kusum and her husband in that red and black combo.

mitra : oh boy these ekta kapoor serial suck! (thank god a sane person!)

ajeet: why u dont watch any daily soaps?

mitra: i do but i watch saath phere n jassi only (e tu brutus?)

preeti: guys u know what for my marriage rahul is getting Parvati Agarwal and Om agarwal from KGGK as the guests at the sangeet!

me: who?

cousin 1: oh my god! kahani ghar ghar ki is coming to u r wedding? please invite me na, i am dying to meet sakshi tanwar.

cousin: rahuls mothers cousin from mumbai has a friend at star who is really close to them, he is getting them to pune for our sangeet.

(till this time i was the only one who went for a second roti and when i came back)

cousin 2: and her little nanand na is typical like that Pia female from kasam se. what a bother na?

me: u guys still talking serials?

ajeet: no just chatting

mitra: general ya

preeti: so rohan...(with lot sugar n spice) when is your sagai ?

me: but doesnt u r wife have to be pregnant for that?

(a silence and a shocked stare from all)

cousin 3 in her sweet 8 year old voice: what does pregaan mean?

me: i was kidding guys! all u r serial stuff so i thought.....(dead stare).....i am sorry there is still time for my sagai.

preeti: hee hee u r funny rohan! (thanks for that)

for a moment i thought now the cousins will talk something else without comparing it to ekta kappoor or anyone's frankeinsteins and finally i will get a chance to speak about politics or business or the new movie with the bull in it, but.......

Shubham: how do you think will sheetal will do at her in laws?

cousin1: well i have told her if they trouble her much just give me a call and i will make their life hell.

ajeet: are! the bhai of her neighborhood is friend of mine , i can tell him solve anything by just one phone call!

me : people its her in laws! u r not giving her to some mafia or torture masters

mitra: are rohan gammat re. u think we really gonna do this stuff? ( hmm so she is sane).... we will tell just inform the mahila mandal and they will take care of it!(brutus u r crossing limits here!)

aunty aka sheetals mom who was hearing the baatcheet came towards us: well u wont have to do that, her in laws are very jolly and good people, i checked ten time so that my daughter doesnt get a Serial Sansural!

cousin 3: rohan da can we get a ice-cream?

i went for the Ice -cream. i took the ice cream. i ran home.

The Coin Spin

For last 25 year that I lived on this planet, I encompassed every source of knowledge and information I could. Not that I have become a wise man or a source of information but certainly I have become a mind with a thought to everything. Being a Libran, I tend to see the both sides of the balance before measuring up my decision. This peculiarity of mine made me look into both sides of the coin at the same time.

Of this I found, extremism and secularism a very interesting topic. Present day, half of the world is on the extremist brink and the other half is still confused on the term of Secularism.

It’s a very dangerous road on which we are trodding. The battle is on and commoners or liberals like us are walking in the no mans land. We are stuck in a war which is ours to say and yet not ours. Who started it, no one knows but knowing the human mind, everyone will blame the other for its inception.

Extremism cannot be charged on any one religion or sect as they say one mans rule is one mans compulsion.
Keeping hatred in mind, religions are fighting with each other till date. Muslim clerics fight with ‘jihad’, Hindu priests with ‘Danga-Phassad’ and Christian missionaries with ‘Monetary Prasad’. When will these orthodox teachers of faith understand that in a country like India no one religion can ever be dominant? Their attempts are going to destroy lives, what good is that God for whom they fight if he cant save innocent mortal lives? They are proving him false with their own action.

Everyone can be charged with Secularism. In one sense, secularism may assert the freedom of religion & each individual accepting other individual’s personal belief. It’s a start to a change where we can heal the wounds made upon each other. It’s not theirs or ours, its mine and yours. Its not for any one group but for one and all.It is Indian for every indian by all rights!


But the current political scenario is again committing the same mistake using secularism. If secularism does not mean equality of all then I don’t believe secularism is any different from Extremism. If you make provisions for one and deprive other of the same, you are going the wrong way. Secularism becomes a cloak used by political parties who don’t want to focus on progress but gain mileage by communal disharmony.

It’s like a spinning coin where both sides of the coin start looking same

Like everything in life we get a choice, we have to chose because at some time life is going to bring you to a point when both sides of the coin start to look the same.